look no pants
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
