yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
