just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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