i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
