so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
