Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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