brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
