she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
