i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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