addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
