we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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