You work out of a Hotel?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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