dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
