I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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