3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You can't just leave with hair like that
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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