why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
