I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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