i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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