yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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