hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just blew my weed a kiss
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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