i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
