the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
