Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
