Yo dont text me then not text me
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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