actually, I'm a sock model
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
