Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
