im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i would punch a child for taco bell
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
