is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
