Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
