do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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