This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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