turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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