Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
it wasn't lemon gatorade
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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