Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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