so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
