I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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