It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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