Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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