dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
