I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
