Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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