Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
