Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
