She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I wear drunk well.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
