is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
