Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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