Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
