never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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