did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
birth control should be required to get into college
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
