Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
